It has been a little over one year when this whole course began. I started a blog. Yes, this very blog. And this brought me to starting a new friendship. Call it a virtual love of people and of things. It was a triumph to conceive the thoughts of starting and to begin eventually. A reality. The longings thus came to fruition. Though, I couldn’t stage a formal celebration for reasons… and I let it pass until another time…
It has been a period of learning, of trepidation, of faith and of survival. This truth takes a whole chunk of time. But then, I feel so very proud and happy that I could live my fears and passion, exercising these rights, squeezing so hard over the tightest of schedules.
What should I say now? It wasn’t a piece of cake. No. It was tough, really tough to stay the process.
I realised that it takes a whole lot of energy to stay afloat and buoyant over the overwhelming challenges that arises in life. The unforeseen exigencies and demons that appear to sway me off my visions. Staying resolute in the face of oddities is a choice. A very hard choice.
How do you write when your heart is broken? How do I write when the very people I shower love to, turn around and stab me wickedly at the back? Getting my heart broken is mild so to speak. A love torn apart. A promise unfulfilled. ‘Strangers’ wearing a friendly façade to disguise their true persona… How can the writing pen stay steady? How can I reason logically, when families become strangers and I wondered if they had always been foes and I failed to see the signs?
When bonds break, it leaves a big hollow within. It drains one of strength, of the will-power to continue.
But hope is eternal when all fails.
I have survived the punches I got from backstabbing, from unpleasant surprises and from the greatest betrayals ever recorded in the history of my existence. The toughest moments came with loved ones turning into demons, trying to demolish my inner spirit. Those who you have helped to see the light of day… those who you have been opportune to touch their lives and make it more meaningful. Those people who you give a breath of fresh air that they may churn out success stories.
Well, these has been defining moments for me. A major fork in the road I would say to decide which way to go and where to channel my energies into.
There is a time to inhale and exhale. To stop and take stock. To assess and reset. To even STOP.
And I knew I had to stop. But life is fleeting. And I knew I would only stop for a flash.
I have learned a lot during this trial process. I have been toughened too from these ugly experiences. But will this kind, warm and empathetic heart stop having faith in people? Will this compassionate being stop believing that there are still some good and genuine people out there? People who are not ungrateful but so appreciative of the little help you rendered to them. People who return to say a genuine thank you for any good deed done to and for them. I mean real people without a face mask, or pretences of love disguised in fake smiles and sweet hellos. I leave it to time… I leave it to the future. For the wounds would heal and life must go on.
And I have also discovered that our intuitive spirits are very powerful if only we’d listen to them. They are ever committed to fighting for us… ever so present within us. They never leave us. My instinct will never go unnoticed any longer. I should pause and listen to that subtle inner voice. It has nudged me to get up and continue. To not relinquish my powers, my passion and to not give up with the overwhelming situations and blows that gripped my entire world.
More than ever, I have the feeling to succeed than to succumb to failure. I am throwing away all forces of intimidations and limitations and embracing the kind nudges of encouragements, love and positive energy pushing me to never give up.
I will not stop and I will not give up. So I am still here.
Regardless, I am inclined to aspire more and grow more into who and what I wish to become, for myself and for this blog. Again that is a huge demand. And again it is very achievable.
And did I tell you that YOU, this wonderful community are part of the kind nudges, the motivation that has lead me back?
Oh yes, it’s been a long week of inaction on this blog. However, I must express my gratitude to you all for still being here. Your presence brightens me all through and gives me a reason to be happy. I am still reading the updates and comments you’ve scribbled down in my absence. They are a great inspiration to me and I will give you responses in a bit.
Or didn’t you notice the vacuum? I guess you did.
However, I must thank you all.
Peace and Love!
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